.... Was this even possible - even hypothetically - that his life, his choices, had always been moulded by fears of which he himself was unaware? He thought back to the past: Lankasuka, Manju, Bela, the hours he had spent sitting on the windowsill, the ecstatic sense of liberation that had come over him on learning that he had been accepted into the Military Academy. Fear had played no part in any of this. He had never thought of his life as different from any other; he had never experience a slightest doubt about his personal sovereignty; never imagined himself to be dealing with anything other than the full range of human choice. But if it were true that his life had somehow been moulded by acts of power of which he was unaware - then it would follow that he had never acted of his own volition; never had a moment of true self-consciousness. Everything he had ever assumed about himself was a lie, an illusion. And if this were so, how was he to find himself now?
The Glass Palace.
how are you to find yourself when most of the time you found yourself being surrounded by a bokeh effect of everything?
1 comment:
One can start finding himself by focusing on only himself, and speaking truth.(I know this sounds selfish, but in the long run, you will be surer of who you are.)
Truth is very hard, I always lie to myself. But if one keeps on lying, how do does he find himself?
Bokeh can make even the most ordinary scenes pretty, make the most ordinary lives of people 'seem' extraordinary. But it's not the truth of you.
Face the truth, have courage, within it, is the calm centre of who we are meant to be.
xoxo
PS: 20 more days? 18?
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