...she feels that...

Today is a not-so-good day. It's a bad day for her.

She is upset. She is feeling disappointed. And she is fed up with how things are. She is confused. She is tired. She is feeling one kind. She is feeling sad with how things turned out to be. She is feeling helpless. She hates the feeling of losing control. She hates the fact that she couldn't help them with some simple things simply because she is so busy with her own things. She couldn't even spend time on the phone to have a proper conversation with them. She hates the way she ends the conversation because she has to continue with her work, meetings, practices, studies. They always call at the wrong time. No, the fact is that she has never really made time for them! What is more important? Who is more important? She hates the fact that she is always not around when things happened. *that's something she can't avoid. I seriously don't understand why she feels so terrible about that.* She hates the fact that she has wasted all her life doing nothing to show them how she feels for them. She hates how stupid and how darn gutless she actually is!! She hates how she has never done anything to them which is worth mentioning. Darn it!

Oh well, I guess she is in quite a one-of-a-kind situation.

i choose. i decide. i decide. i choose

A few things which happened today (no, not just today but also the past one week) reminded me of some little things. some little wonders. the good and the bad. the wrong and the right.
*
decisions.
*
to do or not to do. to stay or not to stay. to follow or not to follow. to run away or not to run away. to obey or disobey. to wait or not to wait. to jump or not to jump. to hide or not to hide. to pretend or not to pretend. to tell or not to tell. to give up or not to give up. to leave or not to leave. to accept or not to accept. it's complicated, right? *i myself is confused, too*

Neh, enough of nonsense. Teehee... it's getting late and I am going nuts. *argh, jiahui, what's new??*

*burp*

The patch of blue black on the back of my left hand is kinda cute. *teehee...*

I gotta start doing the report for my teaching aids thingy. Transpiration. Presentation on next Thursday. *stop thinking that you still have a lot of time to spare, Jiahui!* Sigh, I can't remember a single occasion where any of my school teachers use teaching aids during classes, except chalk, blackboard, powerpoint notes(and that's only during F6). And now I have to crack my head, strain my eyes to think of one, to search for one. *_* Haaaa... but thank God that I have one now. Just hope that it works lar. *sheeeesh...*

Today I felt (am feeling) like one of those days after my softball training sessions. And that was 8 years ago. *_* deee duummm....* I can hear the muscle screaming and me literally ouch-ing with every step I took walking up and down, here and there... wonder if I could drive to cell later in this kind of condition.. =)

cis, bedebah!

I saw the news this morning. And I went WHAT THE HECK??!! I couldn't believe it. Sexist cartoon banner!!!! Cis, this is real bum, I tell you! I guess some people.. erm, those uncles and aunties who always talk crap and give remarks which are so darn gender insensitive.... telling how women should dress in order to keep their husband, making sexist 'jokes' again and again.. Oh gosh, this is real crap. They should go for some gender courses or workshops or things like that la and get gender sensitized..

Come on ladies (and men *i doubt that*), you need someone who can stand up for women's rights and dignity; not some aunties or uncles who buy into the lies behind strengthening the patriarchal*the word 'patriarchal' goes silent when you read it* society and 'being a submissive woman'. I am not saying that it's wrong. Haih.. but then hor... haih, never mind, lazy to explain lar.

Go here and here to know more about the sexist cartoon banner!

Those who have registered and your name is in.. please go and vote!

If you think that your ballot has only one little cross in one of the boxes and it won't bring much changes, therefore you don't need to vote....
If you think that there won't be any/much changes no matter which candidate you choose, therefore you just simply cross one box....
If you think that voting BN means supporting government and voting the Oppositions means going against the government which God has placed in this country, and therefore you cross the dacing....

Hello, you have missed the point
of this thing called general elections
of this thing called our rights and responsibilities as citizens

Every vote counts. Elections is not about predicting winners. You won't waste your vote if you have voted wisely and with clear conscience, even if the candidate you chose didn't win the seat. It's about choosing people who can truly represent the community, being the voice for the community.

This time...
really cannot simply use the word

~WHATEVERLAR~

that's just my two cents =p

think think think!

Dee dum... jeng jeng jeng jeng..
my working place@my little corner@my lala-world

that's how my lala-world looks like, after i 'decorated' the wall with a few flyers this afternoon. i love my bed. =)
I see 'Out Of The Mould' when I look straight. I see all these colorful flyers and posters when I sleep on my left side.

And everyday is my birthday because I will see that tag every morning I wake up.. *ahaaa..*

See la.. i am doing all these crazeee stuff to do reduce tension. sigh, i just remembered that i have an assignment to do in class tomorrow. darn. and notes to read. lines to memorize. steps to remember. things to think. *stop complaining, bum! As if la you are the only one doing all these things!*

Talking about 'thinking'.. it reminded me of a man.

'You come to university to learn to THINK!'
*in a not-so-friend tone*
*I have to be extra careful and alert and
pay extra attention every time I go for his class.

And this reminded me of another uncle.

'So, what do you THINK happened in Iceland?'
*okies, he was talking about Mid Atlantic Ridge, with some ang-moh slang*
*hmm, geology class is a scratch-head class.
Often times I have no idea WTH the lecturer is talking about.
How? I search from wikipedia lor
What to do?

had an interesting conversation with my younger sister. haha. long story la, she was telling me how one unknown fella who saw her once from a distance and somehow got the number through my mum*funny how my mum 'sold her out', haha* kept text-ing her .. asking this and that.. muahaha.. what is this lar.. what a kolot way to try to befriend girls. =p

Hmm, oh yeah, got to know a person who is running for the opposition in this coming election. went to his house on friday night. not for ceramah, it had nothing to do with election but temptations and cautions 1234. it was cell time. but.. woowww... i saw piles of flyers and banners and caps... and shirts.. in the living room. all printed with the logo. fuiyo. it just makes me feel so excited; at the same time, wondering how things would be after this historical day.

Eligible voters... Go, vote!!!

today is saturday.

One down.
And another one -- that uncle cut away the second part of the assignment..

So, now I have N-1.5 to go....

*counting down till I have finished all my N assignments...
i don't even bother to count how many i have.
all i can do is to start another assignment
once i have finished one*
WTH!

this has never happened before!!

*arrrhhh..., bum you!*

isshh..

I am blogging to de-stress myself. Argh!

*i m sleepy i am hungry

i am grumpy....

i am crazy

i am nutty... *&*

i am busy

i am crappy i am jumpy

........i am cranky

i am wacky......

i am like a zombie

2008 General Election could have been a very good opportunity for me to go back to Ipoh. But.. WTH..!! My name IS NOT IN although I registered like more than a year ago. Ciss...

this post doesn't need a title

Knowing that so many friends get to balik hometown over the coming 2 weekends ...
and yet I am stuck here... *like for ages and ages and ages* ...

*sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad ...*

Ooohh gosh.. =(

miracles

Two down. But I got N more to go. =(

It hit me this morning how merciful and gracious God has been to me and my family.... I am reminded that it's truly by His mercy and grace that I pulled thru 19th Dec 2007, alive and well and able to breathe 'properly' ever since then. Isn't that a miracle? =)

at this point of time....

你叫我最快樂　你也叫我最心痛

you are the one who brings me much joy and yet you are also the one who brings me much heartache.oh well, i wonder if you realized that.

***

Argh.. stop wasting time!!! =) Haiyo.. Oh ya, the geology test.. haih.. thank God that I didn't screw it up, at least I filled in all the blanks, okay....! Isssh, enough of time wasted.. it's time to get back to work!