i don't know why i have become like that. i don't know why my answers to those questions are always the same for the freaking 3 years plus. i can only gave the same answers every time we met. ok la, like that la, bearable la, nothing much la, still the same la.. blah blah blah... and FULL STOP. it really makes me super frustrated. i don't know how to tell you the things that had happened, the good and bad i have gone through, and how these things have changed me, affected me, paralyzed me, and even 'killed' me. time and distance do separate people. and on the other hand, my unwillingness to open up and be vulnerable just makes the matter worse. perhaps this is something i need to handle on my own. i don't think i can find my heart anymore because i have traded it with something. somewhere. some time ago. oh well, i should just continue with my 'whatever' attitude, take whatever you are served, think less about worse case senarios, be more forgetful (and forgiving if can, esp to my own self). and make life a little bit happier. i think that's all i can say at this point of life. highland or valley, they don't matter much. the thing is, do i really know who is the one beside me? do i really know the one who has been with me all this while, the one who has been my help thus far?? or am i still looking high and low for someone else? =(