strikestrikestrikestrike!

weekends have been my killer days ever since then.
it's a cycle. a darn cycle that i never wanted to repeat. i looked forward to weekends and at the same time dreaded the whatevers that may come or happen. how ironic is that! you are happy and at the same time you are angry and disappointed and frustrated.
it's like you know the impossibilities. the darn freaking impossibilities. and yet, something inside you tells you to continue playing along. desires. and more desires. you just want the company. we just want the company.
they said i shouldn't continue with this kind of stupidity coz i may not be able to take the consequences (and that might be an understatement). they said i shouldn't let people treat me like i'm the second best, a spare tyre.. sigh.

what happens if we are living symbiotically where there's this thing called
'mutualism'?

my mind can't stop running through today's incident. again and again.