face to face

Finally I have the time to really sit down and blog about some things. To think about some things. The more I looked into them, the more I realized how all these things are actually linked together. By God. And all I could say is that I am amazed by His works. Those experiences, some are pretty pleasant and joyous, some.. are hurtful and they have really crushed me to the max, forcing me to see my true self. Ah, very often I have just swept them under the carpet. Sweep! Sweep faster! There are some people who always challenge me to come face to face with those experiences, especially the not so good ones. I tried. I did what I could. I guess most of us would agree that coming face to face with those not so good things in life is just like adding salt to the wounds. It hurts like crazy and it makes me felt like banging my head to the wall. *wah, is it that serious??!* Well, at some point, it is that serious.

What has occupied my life?

Face to Face. The theme for PKV 07/08. It has really spoken to me strongly about how I have lived my life. It calls me to come face to face with my weaknesses. Face to face with my brokenness. Face to face with my shattered dreams. Face to face with my mistakes, big or small. Face to face with the ugliness of some things in life. Face to face with the God who heals. Face to face with the God who never gives up on me. Face to face with the God who knows what is best for me. Face to face with the God who calls me to have dreams, having Him in the centre of those dreams.

I had a good time on Sunday night with 2 friends, WL and A.Esther. We went for dinner at a nice place, and spent the time catching up with each other, sharing stories about the things we have gone thru. Their stories is such an encouragement to me. What more can I say but to thank the Lord for His works in their lives and my life as well? Indeed, we will never fully understand the reason why certain things in life have to happen in a particular way. I am still waiting for that 'one day' when I can finally see the big picture God has for me.

She said to me, "God sees your heart. He wants a heart that yields to Him so that He can use you according to His purposes...."

He sees my heart. These words are strong enough for me to continue to step forward with the Lord. Strong enough for me to stay away from a life of sin and not to give in to temptations, and to clean my 'inner house'. Strong enough to tell myself to set my mind and heart on things above, not on earthly things. Strong enough to tell myself that I can trust in Him and His love.

We are coming to an end of 2007. I have always complained how bad or terrible a year has been, always hoping and praying for a better year. I still remember how I felt last year around this time. I am glad that this year it is different even though it hasn't been an 'easy year'. It is different because I know God is working in me, working in my family and etc, although I may not be able to see it. The Almighty God Himself is the peace, the assurance I needed.

Again, she said, "Indeed, this is not an easy road. But there is a Someone to help you up when you fall. There is a Someone to heal your wounds and your brokenness. It is much more better than the other road which you can walk however you want, go whichever direction you like. But on this road, there will be no one to help you up when you fall. There will be no one to heal your wounds and your brokenness."

It's so true. So true.

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;

he enables me to stand on the heights.

2 Sam 22:33-34